The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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