I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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