so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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