I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
