three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
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