he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
