I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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