I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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