I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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