a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
