Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
