check it out our google latitudes are spooning
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Randomize
