I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize