we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
