Buhtt sex?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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