But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
