my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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