Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
How naked do you want me to be?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
