Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize