DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
