Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he puts the penis in happiness.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
