you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
