Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
