Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
