Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
