Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
