two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
