Don't make out with my wife yet
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
