i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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