You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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