wakey wakey hands off snakey
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize