Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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