She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Everything about him screamed your future.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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