guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
