3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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