Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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