I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
In other news, I just burned my penis
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I had to cum in my sink.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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