she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
How external is "for external use only"?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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