just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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