Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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