Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
