Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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