IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
