I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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