Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
