biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
organizing the empties. That sober.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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