It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
