I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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