Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
