i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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