It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
this just has baby written all over it
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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