someone threw a dead crab at me
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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