Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I need to sanitize my soul.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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