Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
