Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he was CRYING into my vagina
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
