We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize