Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Randomize