No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
