I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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