Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
