Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
