So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
