She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize