he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
