are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
