Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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