He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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