Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
