I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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